A friend of mine was sharing with me what her bible college pastor was telling them in class. As she proceeded to tell me about how the pastor was explaining to the class the importance of choosing your spouse wisely. The pastor then went on to explain how our spouses are the only family member that we will ever get to choose. Out of everyone in the world, you chose him to be your husband. While we all know we will be married to our spouse for the rest of our lives, do we really take into consideration the importance of this statement?
You are born into the family that you are currently in; you don’t get to choose your parents. You are graphed into a family that has brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, grandmas and grandpas, nieces and nephews, and you don’t get to decide those family members. One family member that you live with for the rest of your life is the one that you get to deicide if you want to marry. That is a huge decision!
The Importance Of Choosing Your Husband Wisely
Part of choosing your husband wisely is seeing him for who he is truly is, even when no one is watching. Part of figuring out who he is putting yourself in places where you can see the person for who they truly are. When you have an opportunity to see them in every situation, at their best and at their worst, is when you can make a clear decision. How do they react when they are tired, when plans go awry, or when he is frustrated? Finding out the answer to these questions take time and you won’t just find them out overnight but through watching him. You can learn a lot about a person by just watching them and observing their reactions to certain situations. You can’t place a time limit on getting to truly know someone because it takes time to reveal who the person really is.
Bring him and your relationship before the Lord and seek His advice. If you haven’t prayed about it or talked to the Lord about it, then you need to do it right now. He is more than faithful to bring to light issues of the heart and reveal our true nature. Look at who he is in light of God’s word and what is stated in scripture. If it is completely contrary to God’s word, then you need to move on. There is so much wisdom that can be found in a multitude of counselors, so ask people around you for their advice and allow for them to watch him and give you their feedback on what they are seeing.
What is His Character Like?
You may find that after a period of time, that only good qualities are coming out and you are not seeing any red flags. This is good! However, if you are only giving it a couple of weeks, then give it more time and if you still see only good qualities flowing out of his life and a life that is sold-out for Christ, then you have found a man who is a keeper! We all have times when we are not our usual selves, when we are just off that day or when we may react negatively to a specific situation but that is not every day. Who he is everyday is who he is deep down. Character is what comes from the heart and it flows into other areas of life.
Is he thoughtful? Does he love the Lord with his heart, mind, soul, and strength? Does he seek to place others above himself? How is he when he is with your family and his family? Is he serving those around him? These are all questions, which can help you to formulate an idea of who he really is. There are obviously so many more questions you can ask him or things that you can watch him on. There is nothing more endearing about a man who loves the Lord, loves his family, and loves you! All of these qualities will come out in time, Darling, just watch for them. Pay close attention to who he is.
Be Patient, Time Will Tell
My favorite saying is: time will tell. The reason I love it is because everything comes out in time! Use discernment to determine his character and allow the Lord to show you motives of his heart. Choosing a spouse is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make, besides accepting the Lord. You will live with this decision forever! This man will be in your life for the next 60+ years. You will share a life together, work alongside each other, cultivate a strong relationship, nurture a family, and watch generations of your family grow. Don’t take this decision lightly but seek the Lord in all things and He will direct your steps down the path He has set before you.