Have you checked the magazine stands recently? Most of the magazines for women, that I saw as I walked into a local bookstore, had catchy titles such as “How To Get A Man To Like You” or “What Kind Of Guy Should You Be Dating.” While the titles are extremely catchy, there is no use in even reading them because they are missing the one key aspect.
The world will try and do all that it can to offer the advice for us, as women, to try to get a man to like us or have us take a survey to tell us what kind of man we should be dating. It’s all superficial though. There is so much more to being in a relationship with someone, especially one with a guy you hope to marry, then just thinking that he is hot or that you would be perfect together because of your score compatibility.
It would be so easy if relationships were only built upon surface level stuff but if you just decide to date any guy who comes along (I know it can be tempting at times) then are you really trying to have a relationship or are you just in it for fun? If you think about it, what is the one standard that you have for dating guys? If you could only choose one standard?
The One Key Standard For Dating
I know that I have a long list of standards when it comes to a relationship. A relationship is not something that I think should be taken lightly for two reasons. One: there are feelings and emotions involved and in the end someone could get hurt or heartbroken. Two: any relationship should be a journey of finding out if the other person is marriage material.
There is only one key standard for dating though. The one key standard is that Christ is at the center of their life! As believers, everything that we do and say is centered on our relationship with Christ. Apart from Him, there is nothing that we can do.
Find a man who will love the Lord with you, lead your marriage and relationship in the Lord, and desire to have a personal walk with Him.
Why You Need To Be Like-Minded
Think of your relationship with your boyfriend or the guy that you are interested in. Are you like-minded? Amos 3:3 says, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” It is impossible to be like-minded with an unbeliever or a guy who does not have a walk with the Lord. If you are not in agreement with where you stand with your walks with the Lord, then how will you be able to function on anything else?
There is so much more to a relationship than just the outside or the fun of a relationship. Think about the future. I have found that when I think about the future and how my decisions will affect my future family or my kids or even my grandkids, I often make wiser decisions because I am not just acting on impulse.
No Marriage is Better Than A Bad Marriage
How many of you have heard this saying? I have heard it more times than I could count on my hand. It is so much easier to say when everything is going great in life and when life is working out just how you want it to. But, when you have been the bridesmaid for what seems like the hundredth time or when all your friends are having babies and you are still sitting alone on a Friday night eating ice cream and watching romance movies.
Seasons like these, where you are always feeling lonely and left out, can cause you to make decision based on your feelings. I want to encourage you to not get discouraged because you are still single and then just fall for the next guy who comes along. Think about your decisions and about who he is as a man, where his walk is, and the measure of his character before moving into a relationship.
Marriage is hard work. Marriage is for life. Don’t date a man who doesn’t love the Lord or is half-hearted in his relationship with the Lord. It is not worth it! Marriage is a partnership, one that requires two people. But how can your marriage thrive, not just survive, when you have different opinions? If your guy isn’t a believer, isn’t interested in attending church, pursing a relationship with the Lord, then what is the foundation of your relationship? If your foundation isn’t solid, then how can anything else flourish?
Darling, don’t rush a decision because you are tired of being lonely at home. I know that it can be so tempting to just give it all up because you want to be married so baldy. But it is worth it all to marry a man who can’t love you like Christ loved the church or who will only want to draw you away from the Lord or who will discourage you from wholeheartedly pursing Him?
The Kind Of Guy You SHOULD Date
The kind of guy that you should date, the one that is marriage material, is one that is pursuing the Lord with his whole heart. One that lives with wild abandon to whatever the Lord calls him to do. A man who doesn’t view himself based on how the world views him but on how God sees him. A man who will push you closer to God instead of drawing you away.
Find a man who loves the Lord more than anything else in this world, and you have found the kind of man worth dating. Don’t just give your heart to any guy who comes along but wait for someone who will cherish it and will encourage you in your walk with the Lord. Darling, this is the kind of man that you should date.