Maybe you are like me. For as long as you could remember, you have always wanted to be married. All of your friends were married in their early 20’s so naturally, you thought you would be too. You thought that marriage would be the answer to all the problems that you had in life, specifically the problems that single women face
Once you got married you would have a stronger devotional life
Once you got married it would be so much easier than your single life
Once you got married you would get more involved in church
Once you got married you would have a constant friend (aka, your husband)
All of these thoughts and more floated around in your head on a regular basis. Marriage just seemed like the perfect answer to all of the problems that you are facing as a single girl. Never again would you have to hear the dreaded words, “So, do you have boyfriend yet?” or “When are you going to get married?” Nope! You wouldn’t have to worry about any of that anymore. Marriage just seemed like the perfect answer to all of the worries and cares in life.
Why Marriage Isn’t The Real Answer
I have always thought of marriage as this picture perfect present underneath the Christmas tree. Anxiously waiting to open it, you imagine what is inside of the perfectly wrapped gift. The way it’s wrapped in the Christmas print wrapping paper with holly, birds, and leaves gracing the front of the paper. Then how it has the brightest red bow on top of the rough brown twine. The longer the present sits underneath the tree, the more your anticipation grows. As much as you want to open the gift on Christmas Day, sometimes the wait becomes far too great and you think if you just take a peek at what’s inside that it would satisfy your curiosity. But, you choose to wait.
Christmas Day is finally here and you can unwrap the gift you have been waiting for! But, much to your dismay all the expectations you have for the gift come tumbling down. It’s not even close to what you thought it would be. In fact, it’s not even something that you remotely wanted.
Marriage is kind of the same way. The longer that I have been single the more that I realize the depth of my expectation for marriage. Regardless of the marriages that you have witnessed in your own life, you have a specific level of expectations that you foresee in your marriage. Maybe you anticipate your marriage to be like the picture perfect ones that you see all over social media. The ones where nothing appears to be out of place and their pictures are the essences of sweet love. As much as you and I want to believe the relationships that we see in our lives and on social media are 100% perfect, where no problems exist and where marriage is the answer to all of their single problems, the truth is there will still be some of the same problems that you face as a single women in your marriage.
Let’s talk about the two major problems that we see in our singleness that we think marriage will fix.
Myth #1: Your Devotional Life
I wish that I could say that I was super dedicated in my devotional walk with God. That I got up super early every morning and had my quiet time with Him. But the truth is that I am often missing more days than I am reading and doing my devotions at night instead of early in the mornings sometimes. Some days just get the best of me. But regardless of when I spend time with the Lord, the outcome is always a sweet time of cultivating a relationship with my Savior.
Marriage is not the answer to having a stronger devotional time with the Lord. Darling, you are still the same person whether you are single or married. Who you are in the Lord will not change once you get married.
Cultivating a strong devotional life and relationship with the Lord is not something that you should be waiting until you are married to do. As a wife, you will have more responsibilities than you have as a single woman. If you are not spending time with the Lord now, then why will it change once you are married?
Instead of waiting until you are married to have a thriving devotional life, start right now. The habits that you set in your life, as a single woman, will definitely carry into your marriage. I used to be easily discouraged because I so desired to be a bible study but it was impossible to do before I went to work, so instead, I started reading the One Year Bible. It’s set up so it takes about 15 minutes in the morning to read. It has a portion of the Old Testament, the New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs every day! At the end of the year, you will have read through the entire Bible! How awesome is that?! You can do this in the morning or just pick a chapter or two from a book in the Bible and journal a little about what you have learned.
Darling, I want to challenge you to start cultivating a devotional life right now in the exact season of life that you are in! Don’t wait until you are married to have a strong relationship with the Lord! Start right now and allow Him to work and speak to your life!
Myth #2: Marriage Is Easier Than Singleness
I don’t know the types of marriages that you have seen in your life or the type of marriage that your parents have.
Maybe your parents have the type of marriage where nothing ever appears to be wrong.
Maybe your parents have the type of marriage that ended in divorce when you were little.
Maybe your parents have the type of marriage where hear and see every argument.
I am so thankful that my parents have been open and honest about the trials of marriage. Being single, it’s easy to think that marriage will solve every single problem that you face as a single woman. It’s easy to think that marriage will be far easier than your singleness because there are no problems.
It’s easy to view marriage through a pair of rose-colored glasses because you and I are not married. But one thing I know, marriage is a lot of work. It’s not easy and it takes a husband a wife who are following the Lord and want to work through their problems in order for a marriage to “look” like its easy.
Marriage involves continually dying to yourself. It’s not just about you but now it’s about your husband, your marriage, and your family. There are a whole set of problems that are completely different than the ones that you face in your season of singleness. But, marriage, just like singleness, is a beautiful gift in God’s timing.
Your Season Of Life Is Perfect
God knows exactly what you are going through as a single woman and He knows exactly all the issues that you will have as a married woman. But, each season that He gives you is a blessing! Darling, don’t waste your years as a single woman just waiting to be married! Marriage is not the answer to all of your problems.
He is the only One who can solve any issue that you might be facing. He is the only One who is able to see what lies ahead. Don’t wait until you are married to be cultivating a relationship with your Savior! He is waiting for you to open your Bible and start a devotional life with Him right now!
Darling, your season is life is such a beautiful one. All you have to do is choose to see the beauty in the season that He has placed you in. Don’t be so focused on the future that you miss all the blessings that He has placed right in front of you. Remember, that marriage is not the answer to all of the problems that you face as single women. God is!