Before you even go on a first date, he comes over to your house to discuss with your dad about the possibility of dating his daughter. Your man asks for your dad’s permission to date you before he asks you to be his girlfriend. You are head over heels in love with this guy and as you start dating you begin to notice little things about him that make you fall even more in love. How he opens the car door for you as you drive to each destination, offers you his coat when he notices it is getting chilly outside, holds the door open for you when you walk into a restaurant, a bookstore, or anywhere else, offers you his chair when there are no other chair left in the room, and lifts heavy items for you. It is sweet and even endearing.
As you are meeting with a friend for coffee the next week, you gushingly tell her all of the courageous details of his acts of chivalry. You can’t help but keep the smile from reaching your ears as you think about how charming all of his behaviors are. Your friend then exclaims how she doesn’t understand how you like how he is taking away your independent by performing these acts for you. She says it’s not the 1800’s so why would you need someone to do that. It is way overrated as far as she is concerned. Your bubble suddenly pops. Are you all wrong for loving how he dotes on your this way? If you loved it so much before your friend mentioned anything to you, then why are you so bothered by what she has said? Maybe your friend is right; maybe you shouldn’t allow your boyfriend to continue these acts anymore since he seems to be taking away your femininity.
Why Do I Need Chivalry If I Am An Independent Woman?
Our culture teaches us to be proud of your femininity and cherish your independence while you are single and even when you start dating. That you don’t need a man to act chivalrous and that you can do it on your own. You are an independent, strong woman and you don’t need a man to do anything for you. You are right. You are strong and you can be independent, and you don’t have to have a man to do things for you. But, chivalry is a wonderful thing! You are allowing him to be a man; one who acts with courteous behavior. I don’t feel like my independence has been stripped from me because I will allow a man to open doors for me or walk on the outside of the sidewalk to protect me. Instead, I would feel loved and cherished that he would see chivalry not as a thing of the past but as a journey for the present. These acts of chivalry are not ones that he has to do or that I am forcing him to do, but they are ones that he is willingly performing so that he can care for me even in the little details.
Even though we are so saturated in a culture that does not value chivalry, there is not a woman who deep down in her heart does not want a man who will be chivalrous with her. When a man is a true gentleman it will cause any girls heart to flutter a little and beat a little faster. You know that he cares about you even in the little details and in the simple things in the relationship.
Chivalry: Is It A Lost Cause?
Finding a man who is chivalrous is not a lost cause even though it may seem like it at times. There are times when I have lost hope in the men of our generation only to then walk into a store and a young gentleman kindly holds the door open for me as I walk in. It is in times like those when I know there are men who truly care about respecting the women around them even in the little things. He is choosing to ignore the passing fads of the culture and hold to being a true man; a man who respects the women around him and shows acts of chivalry on a daily basis.
Too often, we, as women, don’t appreciate the value of chivalry that is being shown to us each day. Stop and take a moment to really allow it to sink in and not just let it pass you by next time you see a gentleman hold the door open for you so that you can walk into the room first or when he offers to pay for you when you are on a date. It is not that you are not capable but that you are allowing him the privilege of showing chivalry each and every day. It takes a true gentleman to go against the culture and show the women around him how he respects them even in the little things. So, the next time a man holds to door open for you, thank him for the act he is doing, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. Remember, it is not that you aren’t capable but it is that you are allowing him to bless you in these little ways by winning your heart through chivalry.